[For PanzerSoldat] The Most [UN]Wonderful Time of the Year

[infestedadmiral]

He has felt it coming on for the last few weeks.

The tightness in the limbs on his left side....the random bouts of itching and an inability to get comfortable.

Stukov knows the signs now...an incoming molt is on its way.  He hopes it will hold off until Reinhardt has those Christmas Market shifts he keeps talking about.  It is highly unlikely as those are almost a month away...but a Terran can dream, even an infested one.  There is a deep feeling of dread in his heart.  He is disgusting when he molts-a tangle of peeling reptilian skin, oozing slime and split carapaces.  If he is lucky, it will all be over in a little less than a week.

He hasn't told Reinhardt about it...and he feels a bit like a heel that he hasn't.  There has been no reason to, really as it has not effected them yet and hopefully he could conceal it if he needed to.  It only happened twice a year...that wasn't terribly intrusive, all things considered.

Still....still it was not something he looked forward to.

The itching and tightness are becoming more obvious and one day, on one of the days Reinhardt is scheduled to take leave and spend the next week with him...he starts peeling.  

Well...well <I>CHERT</I>.
 

Comments

[panzersoldat]

Reinhardt had been utterly looking forward to this week. An entire week. In the past, he would have never taken such time to himself. Reinhardt doesn't take leave, not ever. He's always been there, always. When it's time for his leave, he always gave it up to others. He had no need for it. He had no where to go, no one to spend it with. This year is different. This year, for the first time since he had put on a uniform, he is taking his leave, because he has Alexei.

He's going to spend an entire week with the man he loved. Sharing his house. Sharing his space. Going to sleep with him, waking up next to him. They got an entire week to live as if they were both retired. Just together. In a way, he's a bit anxious about it. This would be the first time he's stayed for more than a day or two. He's worried that he might overstay his welcome. That Alexei will realize that maybe the house is too small for two large men and three little zergling. That maybe they weren't suited to co-habituating.

He tells himself that it's just nervousness. They'd already gone well past their honeymoon phase. They'd had their first arguments and come out the other side of them stronger for them. If Alexei wasn't going away because he put kraut on everything then he wasn't going to go away for anything else.

So he gets his small duffel, full of the clothing he'll need for the week (clothing he is considering just leaving over there) and heads on over, taking the now deeply familiar path to the small cabin at the edge of the woods. He almost expects to see Der Kinder tearing down the path towards him, but they aren't outside. Probably indoors saying warm.

His heavy steps hit the porch and he's going for the knob. The door's always been unlocked to him in the past. The house is safe. Der Kinder would never allow anyone into that house that they didn't trust. But when he goes to turn it, the knob doesn't turn. Locked? He frowns and roots through his pocket for his key.

"Alexei? Are you in? Am I too early?"

[infestedadmiral]

Everything has escalated quickly.

Alexei is in the bathroom, running the shower and trying to get it moist enough to hopefully peel some of his shedding Zerg hide off...if he can get it off he can rinse off the slime...and...and then maybe he can pry off his carapace...it will hurt and he will be raw but it is surely better than the alternative.

His heart clenches in his chest.

That's the real problem, right there.

It isn't that he's molting, that is just a thing he does now. He never imagined it would be an issue since...realistically, he never saw himself being in close enough living quarters to know or care.

He had not counted on falling in love with one of the Crusaders that protected this small planet...much less having that Crusader return his affections.

Alexei keeps expecting Reinhardt to come to his senses...to realize how disgusting theninfested Terran actually is...realize just how much of him is inhuman. He thought the zerglings would be the catalyst...that he would realize those creatures came from him and that would be enough to end their romance.


But it had not. Reinhardt loved the little terrors like they were his own children...spoiled them rotten. The giant of a man had been touched...flattered even that he had inadvertently inspired their creation.

Maybe it would be the same with this?

He gives a tug at a patch of skin on his shoulder and gives a growl of pain when he realizes it is stuck tight. This is going nowhere fast.

The zerglings are scratching at the bathroom door, alerting him that his company is here. Good thing he locked the door or his knight would have walked in on him looking like a scaly mess.

Still...he could not just leave his knight out there on the stoop without at least telling him plans were cancelled.

He quickly dried his face off and wiped the fogged mirror clean. When the moisture was gone...he could see his reflection clearly in the glass. Shit, what a mess. The purple flesh of his left side was clearly starting to split...hanging off of him in pieces that were not dry enough to sclough off. Green slime was starting to fill in the cracks of the splitting carapace and was threatening to bubble up through his shedding skin.

Disgusting.

His eyes stung and his throat was tight.

It was not that its was ugly-he was years passed caring about that. He knew it was and had accepted it as his lot but...but Reinhardt was going to be hurt either way. Either he was going to be disappointed in being unable to spend his leave with Alexei or he was going to at last come to his senses and leave.

Stukov decided the first option was better. It was cruel and selfish but at least he would still have him. It was not as if he could pretend he was not home...he was obviously home because he had locked the door. He had nothing of value to steal and besides, the zerglings were territorial enough to guard their nest...urgh...home.

In any case, he made his way to the door.

"Reinhardt...I....I am afraid we have to cancel. I....I have come down with something and I don't want you to catch it."

Lame.

He is as healthy as a horse and he can create healing pathogens. He would not stay sick for long.

"Well...not catch per se."

A damp spot began to show through his shirt and his heart started to hammer in his chest.

"I..."

Tell the truth, coward...at least you cannot see his face through the door.

"I am...molting. It is...not flattering. It is disgusting and I do not wish you to see me like this."

There. It was out there now.

[panzersoldat]

He waits, considering if he should knock again. Perhaps Alexei is sleeping. He knows as it gets colder, many of the creatures start hibernation. He doesn't know if it's the same for Alexei. He honestly hadn't really thought to ask and now feels that perhaps he should. There is so much he doesn't know about his lover's state, and things he knows he'll need to be aware of, if only to help him out during those times. He just hesitates to ask because he knows these things are deeply personal and he doesn't want to sound like one of those cruel scientists that wish to take Alexei apart to sate their curiosity.

Reinhardt is about to knock again when he hears the voice behind the door. The wood muffles it a bit, but Reinhardt swears he hears a little note of something...wrong. He's heard Alexei in pain, at least mental pain, when he would lay awake and sooth the man from nightmares. He knows the tone and immediately he starts to worry more.

His heart sinks when the words come and he's told he has to cancel. This week that he's looking forward to...gone. All because... Well, he can't blame Alexei if he's sick. He doesn't know what sorts of flues and colds might touch Alexei. He knows the man has his healing pathogens, but perhaps some common cold mutated because of Alexei's special system into some sort of super virus.

Reinhardt feels even more worried and he presses his hands against the door as if to try and touch Alexei though it. "I'll get you medicine then. Whatever you need. You won't be sick in there all by yourself. I'll take care of you. I'll get out the Hazmat suits if I have to...but I won't let you suff...oh...." He trails off because that's not what he expected to hear.

Molting? He knows what that is. He's seen dragonflies by the rivers when they molt, drying their glittering wings. He hadn't considered that Alexei has this issue as well. He doesn't know what hurts more. Knowing that his love is having a problem or knowing that he's not...wanted.

"I see. Well, if you really want me to go, I will. But I really have nowhere else. I took the week." Because his only home is the castle. It's the castle or this place. He doesn't have a place to call his own. So it's either back to the barracks or find himself a room above the tavern for a week. "I will come back though. And I'll still bring you whatever you need. You name it, and you'll have it. I won't let you go through this alone. Even if...if I'm no longer welcome here in your home, I'll be right here, on your doorstep with whatever you need."

[infestedadmiral]

No...no don't go. Please don't...

Alexei bites his lip to keep from screaming it through the door. His ears rang and his heart beat madly in his chest. He has to take several deep, ragged breaths before he can even begin to sound human. If he doesn't he is sure Reinhardt will break down the door to help him.

"No."

It is all he can manage at first.

"It...it isn't like that."

His knight is always welcome. He wants nothing more than to be held and kept safe...to be comforted...but he can't be...not while he is like this.

The zerglings can sense his panic...his despair and they start vibrating their wings nervously and rubbing against him, trying to reassure their parent...and it seems to have the exact opposite effect they intend. Alexei feels stifled...too many zerglings pressing on him...and he shoos them away...only to have them make sad chirps.

Alexei presses against the door, resting his head on the wood, mirroring Reinhardt on the other side, though he did not realize it.

"I want you here...you are always welcome...but...but I just can't."

DON'T LEAVE ME.

Alexei's legs give out and he slowly sinks to the ground, forehead still pressed against the wood, silent sobs wracking his body.

His words come then...unsteady at first as he tries to collect himself.

"Please...Moy Rytsar ...I...I don't...know what I would do if...."


If Reinhardt left. Stukov would carry on...somehow...he always did...but he would be broken again...deeper this time because he had been so hopeful....so...dare he even say happy?

His heart already feels like there's a bleeding, open wound there.

Why...why was he left this way? He's not mindless...he's not fully Zerg...he's no longer a Terran...he just knows what he isn't.

It is his own baggage, not Reinhardt's. It would be unfair to saddle the Crusader with this.

"...if something happened. If I hurt you. I...I couldn't live with myself if I caused you harm."

What if the slime that spilled out of him was acidic? Or toxic to full Terrans?

[panzersoldat]

He can hear a distressed buzzing and buglike chittering inside and he's not certain who it belongs to. He thinks perhaps it's the zerglings. He doesn't think he's ever heard Alexei do that. Though if he did, Reinhardt wouldn't mind. Instead, he would sit and insist that Alexei sit down and help him learn to talk to the little ones. But now is not the time to discuss what he's heard behind that door. Now is the time to show this man how loyal he can be.

He stands before that door and hums a little. "Alexei..." He doesn't want to actually go, but he knows he's being turned away. He should listen. He should leave. He should respect Alexei's position and his privacy and not impose. That would be what was right. But he doesn't want to go.

He really doesn't want to. He hates the idea of leaving knowing that the man he loves is out of sorts behind that door. Especially hearing the reasoning. He's being turned away because his love is trying to protect him. It brings a lump to his throat. "You'd never hurt me." He murmurs. "Never. I know you won't. I trust you, Alexei. No matter what's happening, I know you wouldn't." He takes a slow breath. "So...I'm not going to go. Not unless you give me a direct order. Unless it's a direct order to my face, Vice Admiral, I'm going nowhere. I'm not going to leave you alone with this. I'll be right there for the minute you need be to bring you anything."

[infestedadmiral]

It is so hard to think.

Moy big, What is WRONG with him? It is like he can't focus on anything passed this exact moment. That ringing in his ears is incessant.

The damp spot in his shirt is getting bigger and there's a definite green tinge to it.

Stukov forced himself to focus on Reinhardt's voice. He wasn't going anywhere...he was staying.

It was enough for the moment.

It allowed Alexei to at least find some mental ground to grip onto. He keeps his eyes tightly shut for a few seconds...focuses on his breathing...makes sure it evens out...doesn't move from the floor with his forehead still pressed to the cool, hard wood of the door.

There.

One more breath.

His thudding heart leaps to his throat when he hears that his knight would trust him...would believe he would not hurt him no matter what. No human has ever made that explicitly clear. There is always an air of suspicion and he could never blame them. He'd be the same.

Still...he could kiss Reinhardt for that and if his face wasn't threatening to leak slime all over everything, he would.

Stukov finally manages a faint smile.

"Thank you."

He's so grateful his knight has not left yet. Just knowing he's there...it is calming even if he can't have those strong arms around him at this exact moment...knowing they are there is enough to get him to settle at least a little.

Stukov still felt guilty...for beign such a coward. He's faced worse than this...but nothing had filled him with dumb horror and animal panic more than the thought of Reinhardt leaving him because of this.

The Crusader had given no indication from their previous interactions that he would...if anything, he often seemed amused at the inhuman elements of Alexei's life.

Still....


Still...it was not a risk that Stukov wanted to take.

So...so just do it already.

Order him away so he won't waste his time on the porch...but then they are back to square one. He would still see him in this...unflattering state.

"I...I won't do any such thing. I could never use my rank to order you away."

It is true. He would not.

"I just..."

He's afraid.

Alexei pokes at that growing damp spot with his human hand and it is unsettlingly warm.

"I....can't."

Can't what?

A lot of things, apparently.

[panzersoldat]

There is silence for a moment, from the other side of the door. Reinhardt wants to pound on it. He wants to call out for Alexei. To demand that he just be let in. But Reinhardt isn't going to make demands like that. It's not his house. He can't force his way in, even if he knows he could likely knock that door off it's hinges if he wanted. So he waits. He waits, one hand still on the door.

He knows he's being unfair. But Alexei pulling rank would be the only way he would leave. Unless a colony-wide catastrophe were to suddenly happen, he was staying right there. It makes him happy to hear that his love really wouldn't look him in the face and bark at him to leave. It also tells him what he wants to know. If Alexei really wanted him gone, he would give that order.

"Can't? I still don't really understand, but I'm not leaving. So, I guess I'm going to get comfortable right here." There's a sound of heavy boots on that porch and then the even heavier plopping thump of him plopping down his duffel and then planting his rear end on the top step.

"It looks like it's going to be a warm enough weekend. Though I would like it if you'd let the children out. I've missed them. Don't worry. I'll be right here, with my back to the door. You have my promise I won't look. I won't try to use this to get in. I just want to see die kinder. You have my word of honor as a knight. That I'll stay right here and when you need something, anything, even if it's just milk or coffee or whatever from town, you can ask me. I'll get it for you. But I'm staying here."

[infestedadmiral]

Hans was already scratching at the door and glaring at Stukov....practically demanding to be let out. Beside him, Ivan huffed, not looking at Stukov, clearly bothered enough to pout.

Even though Reinhardt could not see him, Alexei nodded.

"Yes...yes, of course...I...I would never keep them from you."

His heart feels a sharp jab of pain at that....and at the loud thump of his beloved Rytsar sitting down on the steps, determined not to move.

He eased up and motioned with his head for the Zerglings to follow him to the small side door.

"Come along, Deti, you heard him. Don't you want to go see your Papa?"

Hans and Ivan sprang up immediately, speeding passed Stukov and scratching impatiently at the side door as he slid it open for them and they bolted, heading straight for the man on the steps. Only Anastasia paused, pressing her head against his leg and chirring.

Alexei sighed.

"I'm fine, Devushka. Go see Reinhardt. He missed you."

The zergling turned toward the door and blinked her glowing eyes before turning back to Alexei and taking the bottom of his coat in her mouth and pulling him towards the door.

"No. No just you."

He pulled the bit of fabric loose and shooed her out the door. Odd. She directly resisted a suggestion to comfort him. Huh. The three zerglings surprised him every day one was or another.

Stukov shut the door and returned to the front one...not wanting to miss if Reinhardt asked about him. The infested Terran eased down and leaned his back against the door. He could faintly hear the zerglings happy sounds.

His eyelinds felt heavy then, his body finally coming down from that intense adrenaline spike from a short time ago. Alexei blinked slowly...maybe he just needed to rest them...then perhaps he'd have the courage to let Reinhardt in.

.....

Stukov started awake.

Awake?

How long had he been asleep?

He had not meant to drift off.

As he moved to get up, he was keenly aware on how taut the skin on his face was on the left side...and how swollen parts of his left arm looked, even compared to normal.

Tch. Wonderful. That slime was pushing up under the soon to be molted skin. What a mess that was going to be.

Alexei managed to get up and peer through the peephole in the door...only to see Reinhardt still on his step with the three zerglings in his lap, seemingly also napping...at dusk.

Dusk?

Reimhardt had been out there all day!

Stukov's stomach flipped.

It hurt him to just leave his beloved knight out there...but...but..

Enough.

Enough of this.

He could not leave his beloved outside all week. He would not do it. It was shameful he had let it go on this long...that he had been such a coward.

This ended now...even if...no.

Panic was already prickling in the back of his mind before he snipped it in the bud.

Reinhardt deserved better that a vain coward.The infested Terran pulled his jacket over the now fairly obvious damp spot on his shirt an buttoned it.

There. That should do...something.

Alexei then opened the front door, making sure to keep his head turned as far to the left as he possibly could.

"Reinhardt?"

He can barely manage a whisper.

"I'm....I'm sorry."

Cautiously, Alexei stepped outside.

"Please...please come inside now. I'm sorry for being foolish...and I would be honored if you would come in for coffee but....but I would understand if you don't want to stay...if you want to come back later."

He keeps his head turned as he speaks, cheek pressed against the carapace of his collar bone. Moy Bog the skin there is also swollen and the skin is loose.

[panzersoldat]

"Mein kinder!!" Had been the delighted cry when he had been bowled over by three little Zerglings. Only little Anastasia seemed to be hesitant, looking back to the side door and then at Reinhardt. It took her a little while to take her rightful place on his head, but only so she could keep watching the door, hopeful. The other two seemed to take turns vying for his lap until Reinhardt reminded them that he was big enough for the both to share.

And so he sat. He sat with his little children. Laughed while Stasia got off his head to dig a little. Smiled at Ivan bringing him a small rodent he had hunted. Indulged them when Hans crawled under his shirt for even more warmth. He remained right there, with the three little ones, even as he watched the sun beginning to set. The little zerglings all crawling into his lap to snooze after demanding equal share of snuggles and kisses on their heads.

He keeps his head forward even as he hears the door open behind him. Perhaps Alexei was opening so that the little ones could come in for dinner. But instead, he hears footstep and with each one, his heart beats a little faster. A little warmer. But he had promised he wouldn't turn around and look.

"Yes, mein schatz?" Perhaps the other man had realized he needed something and was taking him up on the offer. Or maybe...he had gotten sick of this and was going to just order him to leave. He was prepared for either. He wasn't prepared for an apology. Without even thinking, he turns his head to look at Alexei, face filled with hopeful surprise. It's hard not to notice the way the man keeps his face turned and his body hidden as possible. His eyebrows knit but he says nothing.

"Thank you. I thought I might have to sleep out here tonight." It's with a great deal of effort that he stands. He's too old and too warn to be sitting on someone's low stoop all day. There cracking on his knees and the popping of his back are audible. It might have been less so, but Reinhardt had picked up all three zerglings as well. He hadn't the heart to wake and dump them on the ground. So when he turns, he's got three very sleepy bugs in cradled his arms like they are actual infants and he's smiling sheepishly.

"I would love that coffee. And I would also like to stay. For the week. But one thing at a time, ja? I want to tuck our little ones in and then I'll have that coffee." He doubts they'll stay in their own beds. They never do, at least when he's staying with Alexei.

Reinhardt will take his armful and step past Alexei towards the house. Only he pauses when they are shoulder to shoulder so he can lean and kiss the man's human cheek. "Thank you...for letting me in." Then he's going inside to take care of the kids.

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei can't help shaking after that kiss in his cheek.

It was almost as if Reinhardt had switched a button and his hands were shaking....even his extra limbs were quaking under his coat.

Guilt swelled in his chest-hard and heavy- for ever doubting his beloved....for making him wait...but still...even now...icy dread clawed at the corners of his mind.

He peered around the corner lopsidedly as Reinhardt gently put those growing zerglings in their begs. Stukov quickly made his way into the kitchen. He wasn't sure what would happen if he did not busy himself.

The infested Terran immediately filled the kettle and turned on the stove, prepped the drip and ground some beans fresh from the cafe. He had thankfully had the foresight to pick some up a few days ago in preparation for the week. He'd been looking so forward to it. He had wanted Reinhardt to stay for the week...for them just to enjoy each other's company.

What were they going to do now?

The kettle began to whistle then...and Alexei was quick to pour the hot water into the filter to get their coffee's started. He would have to pour something adult in his if he was going to make it through the evening.

[panzersoldat]

He has the little ones down and tucked in. He hopes they'll stay asleep. Just this once. His usual task after that would be to join Alexei in the kitchen. Help out with the last steps of coffee. He likes it. He likes how they fit so well together. The two of them dancing around each other in that small kitchen, sometimes brushing hands or bumping shoulders or hips. It's always so warm, happy. But right now, Alexei is being so distant. Almost cold. He had been told why, but he still wants to be with the man.

However, Reinhardt respects the man he loves enough not to just force his company on him. He'a lucky he's been allowed in. He's not going to push his luck. Instead, he settles into what's become his personal chair here. His travel bag still sits at the door, as if it's waiting to be told he does have to leave. He pretends not to see any transfer of slime on Alexei's chair. Instead, he tries to make soft conversation. "You know, when I was a little boy and not feeling well, my mother would run a hot bath for me. Would you like that? Would it help?" Because he doesn't understand what Alexei is going through but he wants to know. He wants to help. He wants this man to know that what he's going through, he doesn't have to go through it alone. Not any more.

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei can't help but notice Reinhardt's absence. In a way, he is grateful for it. It gives him a few extra minutes to compose himself while he finishes making coffee. He doesn't fix any for himself just yet. He mostly wants to take care of his night after neglecting him so. It takes him a bit longer than usual since he's doing things one handed. The skin on the knuckles of his left hand has started to swell. It will no doubt crack soon and the last thing he wants is to have a bit of slime or dead skin fall into anything.

Stukov manages, though...and in a few minutes he has joined Reinhardt in the living room, setting down a massive mug of black coffee for the Crusader. He sat in his own chair, taking care to do his best not to actually touch the fabric with anything that is leaking.

Oh, a bath sounds heavenly. Warm and moist and cleansing. It will definitely help him schlough off some of that dead skin to make way for carapace.

Moy Bog , what a mess this was.

Alexei reached out his right hand tentatively, like when they had returned to this little cottage from the bier hall when they had first confessed their feelings.

Pozhaluista.....Please...

"I...I would like that...very much...and for you to stay...as long as you like. I just..."

He tries to turn his head then...but he actually has to pull it off his shoulder and it makes an audible tearing sound that makes Alexei's heart leap to his throat. It doesn't really hurt...it mostly just stings...but it must look pathetic, bits of flesh hanging loose and a few large dollops of slime dripping down his cheek. The trembling is back, then, but Alexei does not pull away. He forces himself to stay where he is, taking several deep breathes and releasing them slowly, trying to stay calm as he can feel the carapace on his cheek coming loose already.

Chert!, he curses under his breath.

Alexei can't finish his sentence. Instead he brings his left hand, skin swollen and taut, up to try to cover up the massive leak on the side of his face. He can't bring himself to pull away his right hand from where it had been offered...he needed that reassurance.

"Please....please don't go."

He was wrong to try to keep Reinhardt away. It makes his heart sick to think about it now. Being alone is the last thing Alexei needs right now.

[panzersoldat]

He has to wait. As much as Reinhardt wants for all the world to be in that kitchen, wrapping his arms around the man, he must be patient. It's something he's never been very good at. It's only been now that he's older and slightly wiser that he can even bare the idea of waiting so patiently. He stubbornly waited to get in. He can wait a little more. He knows it will be worth it. Alexei is worth every second he must sit on his hands and count the ticking seconds of the clock.

He hears the footsteps and for a moment, he almost forgets himself. He nearly stands from his chair to take the cup sooner. It's the hardest thing he's ever done, to stay put in his chair and wait for the mug, his special mug, to find way to his hand. He keeps his eyes on the dark liquid, certain Alexei made it to his tastes without even having to ask it. As much as he wishes to look up, he has promised not to look. Sworn on his honor. So he must look at his own shadowed reflection in his cup.

Reinhardt startles a little when a hand reaches to take his. He looks down and it's Alexei. Which makes sense, since he's the only other person here. Yet he hadn't expected it with how distant the man was being. After that little jolt, his reaction is automatic, quickly tangling their fingers together, utterly relieved that he can at least have this much. He even slowly starts to lift it, to draw the man's knuckles towards his lips. To try and press a soft kiss to them, as if to say he's here to stay. "Alexei..."

What he is about to say, it dies on his tongue at the sound. Reinhardt's war career has taught him many a horrifying sound. He knows this one. It's flesh, pulling, tearing. His oath is immediately forgotten in the face of that sound. But only because his head jerks up and his single eye locks on Alexei's face, his own deeply lined with loving concern. That sound...it had worried him enough to break a promise. The worry etches deep, giving him dramatic frown lines that look like they don't know how to sit on Reinhardt's face for all the smiling he does.

There is skin...coming off. Something oozing. And then he sees the other hand. Larger than he's seen, like it's been bloated, swelling like he had slammed it with his hammer. His words fall silent and for a moment, his grip of the other's hand goes slack. There is a long silence, where Alexei begs him not to go. But Reinhardt's weight is shifting in his chair. It takes a long, oppressive second for him to stand back to his feet.

But he doesn't take a step towards the door. He doesn't let go of that hand. Instead, he steps towards Alexei, his other hand stretching out to lightly brush against that raw and sagging flesh that the other is trying to hide. His fingertips gentle as he carefully traces up and lightly threads into the man's hair before going back down to gently cup the man's molting face, swelling hand and all. When he does, his smile has returned, loving and warm as the night he had confessed. "That's what I thought. Did you know you have the most attractive bit of gray right there. I never noticed it before. You get more and more dignified every time I see you, my handsome Alexei."

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei's eyes are blazing, burning hot, peering out from between massive, swollen claws. He can see Reinhardt's single blue eye staring at him. The infested man doesn't want to...he does not want to see a look of horror or disgust on his beloved's face...and he is shocked when that is not what he sees at all. There is concern...worry...even still...he can't help but feel his breath hitch when Reinhardt stands.

There is a moment of dumb animal panic when he feels Reinhardt get up and move from his chair...still...still...the Crusader is holding his hand.

He can't help but flinch and squeeze his eyes shut as Reinhardt's fingers run through his short hair before coming to rest on his sticky cheek.

Slowly, Alexei eases his claws away from his face and opens his eyes, blinking dumbly for a moment, trying to process the words.

"N-no I...I didn't notice."

He doesn't spend a lot of time looking at himself, to be honest.

Pft. Dignified? Hardly. What's dignified about this? Reinhardt is clearly the more dignified of the two. Alexei pulls the hand he is still holding to his lips and gently kisses the Crusader's knuckles...just like he knew his knight was about to before being interrupted.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

About everything.

About hiding...not letting him in...being cold...it hurt him...he can only imagine how he must have made Reinhardt feel. The man deserved better.

"Please, forgive me...I...I didn't know what to do. You didn't deserve that long wait...to be turned away...I...I'm sorry."

[panzersoldat]

He can feel something oozing a little around his fingers. He pays it no heed for the moment. Instead, he focuses on Alexei. Looks right into those glowing eyes of his and gives him the warmest smile he can. "I feel like a fool for not noticing earlier. I would have said something. Maybe stolen your hat so all the world could see how handsome you are." Even if Alexei really doesn't have any silver at his temples, Reinhardt is going with this. An excuse to be close. To touch him. To let him know he's still here. Still finds him beautiful.

He wants to lean in. Rest their foreheads together. But Alexei is lightly kissing his knuckles and his heart skips a beat. He's unsure now. He doesn't know if touching him will hurt him. He doesn't know how to handle any of this, but his desire to hold Alexei overwhelms anything else.

"No, I will not forgive you." It is with care that his hand slides away from the man's face, trailing that ooze so that he can carefully wrap his arm around the man's shoulder. His huge, cracking, seeping shoulder. "I will not, because mein schatz, there is nothing to forgive. There's no need for apologies. You've done nothing wrong." Nothing wrong about being scared, though that goes quietly unsaid. "This is your house. This...thing that is happening to you, it's a private thing. And for you, I would have waited a thousand days and then a thousand more. You are worth it. Worth waiting for."

He shifts so that he can kneel in front of the man. Finally pressing their foreheads together. "You're still my beautiful Alexei and you can kick me out of you house and turn me away as many times as you want. I'm not going away. You're stuck with me."

[infestedadmiral]

That kind flattery...

It brings a small smile to Stukov's face and his glow turns distinctly warm and orange. The man's head pulls to the left like it always does when he's complimented, almost instinctively trying to cover that glow...but he corrects it almost immediately. Reinhardt has often told him that glow reminds him of starlight...and who is he to keep his beloved knight from that?

Alexei does not stop Reinhardt from reaching around him. His heart is swelling up and his throat is tight. The grip on Renhardt's hand intensifies when the Crusader says he will not forgive him...but it slacks in a moment with that explanation.

Stukov feels as though his heart might burst like the dying, shedding skin on his body. He leans in, forehead pressing against Reinhardt's, eyes squeezed shut but a smile on his face as he feels safe and secure with a strange kind of finality. The fear that had consumed him earlier vanished. This was it. This was as bad as it got. He made pathogens, laid eggs and leaked slime...and still his knight was here beside him. He always would be.

He can't hold his tears in.

Large, hot tears press out the corners of his eyes and trail down his face as he practically launches himself at Reinhardt. He can hear a faint pop and can feel it to as he puts a bit too much pressure on several points and the familiar, blister burst like sting can be felt across his chest and in his sleeve, but that doesn't matter. The slime spots growing on his jacket don't matter. It is a damn mess and they are both going to need a shower after this, but that is fine. Everything is fine. It is going to be that way from now on. Whatever happened, they would face it together and Alexei knew it...knew it with certainty.

He pulled Reinhardt against him, nails digging into the Crusader's shirt, and buried his face in his beloved's neck. He let out a strange mix between a silent sob and a sigh, but there's a smile pressed against Reinhardt's neck the other man would surely feel.

"How...is it that you always say what I need to hear, Moy Rytsar?"

[panzersoldat]

He says it because it's true. Reinhardt has been out among the stars. He's seen supernovas and black holes, white dwarves and red giants. He had stood on distant planets, bathed in the blood and slime of his enemies, under the glittering light of twin suns. And none of it, none, compares to that glow he sees. It's as if the heavens had come down and stood at his side. He never wanted to not see it but he won't stop Stukov from hiding. He's glad when the man doesn't.

Just as glad then that hand tightens in his. His heart still breaks a little when those tears start to fall. He had never meant to make Alexei cry. He wonders if perhaps he had been too harsh, telling him he wouldn't forgive him. Even with the explanation, the man had been so worried. But then there's a rush of flesh and zerg. His body actually rocks backwards a little with the force of that tackle. He can immediately feel the seeping of whatever is below, soaking past the layer of his shirt. He doesn't care because he can feel the hot tears against his neck.

His arm wraps tight and he starts to stroke circles against Alexei's back. He strokes circles and presses small kisses against the crown of the man's hair. "Shhh. Don't cry. Don't cry. It's all right. Everything's going to be all right." He feels the smile and realizes this is a happy cry, but he still holds by those words. Everything is indeed going to be all right.

"Maybe because I love you? Do you understand. I love you so much and there's almost nothing you could ever do or say that would ever disgust me or drive me away. Well, except all that borscht you like." Like he's any better with his mountain of sauerkraut on everything. "That's just nasty. But the rest of you...the rest of you is beautiful and wonderful. I've always known what you were. Who you were. I know what I was getting into when I fell in love with you. So from now on...we can talk about these things, ja? Face to face and not through a door. Because I want to see you, I want to see you all the time. Dressed up, dressed down, bed head, dripping this green stuff, I want to see you. And help you. So you'll have to tell me what you need. Lotion? Bandages? That bath? For this weekend, I am yours to command."

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei leans into that tight hug...lets himself be squeezed against Reinhardt's massive frame as strong, worn hands rub circles into his back. Stukov's smile presses into a kiss against Reinhardt's neck and he inhales deeply, taking in his knight's scent before pulling back to look at him as he talks. His eyes and the side of his face glow warmly through the slime and dead skin. A sideways smirk pulls across his features and hie gives a stifled chuckle at that good natured dig at his love of borscht.

"Hmmmph. You're one to talk."

The glow surges at that compliment.

Stukov would argue that no part of him is either beautiful or wonderful...but that familiar flutter is back in his extra limbs as Reinhardt lists all the ways he wants to be with him. The former vice admiral's eyebrows furrow hopefully and he nods slowly.

"Da, Reinhardt...we can talk about thise things and deal with them...together."

The word seems out of place in his mouth. It feels like a dream...like it is not real. How could anyone look at him and not feel either waves of disgust or pity? Reinhardt had never experienced either. Initially, his kindness and compassion had been a source of frustration. How could he? How could he not see what an...affront Stukov was? Always showing him kindness...patience...understanding...it was the complete opposite from what Alexei had experienced at the hands of Moebius. It had been exactly what he needed, though.

He smiled and leaned back against Reinhardt's chest, snuggling up against him. His extra zerg limbs drummed lightly up and down on the Crusader's shoulder.

"I need you most of all....but...a bath would not hurt. I...I think we both are going to need one."

[panzersoldat]

That's it. That was exactly what he was after. That smirk. That laugh. It tells him that Alexei is indeed really okay. That he's not going to let this beat him. He hopes one day this man would learn that he would never see the man as a monstrous being. He'll also never see him as a pitiable wretch. He also sees Alexei Stukov, former Vice Admiral and man he adores. And he hopes that this man can over look his own little foibles and misgivings now and again.

"Exactly, Schatzi. We are a team, you and I. Everything that comes, we handle it together. You can always come to me with your troubles and should I have troubled of my own, I will surely come to you. I know you will always be my strength when I need it most. As I will be yours."

He feels those extra limbs moving and he chuckles a little. He enjoys the feeling of Stukov nestled against his chest. He hopes that even with the shedding, his love will allow him to share the bed together so he can have that feeling every night.

"Well, I am here." But since Alexei has spoken and Reinhardt is feeling extra loving, he lets himself be a little more knightly than he already is. He reaches down to scoop Alexei's legs up, so that he could carry the man, let him remain snuggled into his chest. "And you are here. Up you go. And now we find you that bath. The little ones are sleeping so maybe this time, Ivan won't try to muscle his way in to play with the bubbles." He starts towards the bathroom.

"And of course, my promise remains. I won't look if you don't wish me to. I respect you and your privacy."

[infestedadmiral]

Stukov's exatra limbs lovingly stroked Reinhardt's shoulder, running over it almost like the former Vice Admiral was petting him.

"Moy, Rytsar I would be honored to listen to anything you have to say....any time. You....you are very comforting and I sleep much better with you beside me."

He meant it, but it still caused a pink ripple in his usual glow, his own equivalent of a blush.

"Just...try not to squeeze the molting places too hard, Da? "

Stukov gave a surprised start as he was lifted up, but within a second or two, he was snuggled right back to his previous spot with a loving sigh, Zerg limbs resuming their petting.

At Reinhardt's last comment, he paused and cleared his throat.

"Reinhardt...I...about that...I...wouldn't mind if you did."


Not now.

Not after this.

Not after it is emphatically clear that his knight really is his knight.

That pink surge was back.

"Just...don't be shocked. Zerg carapace is very good at protecting...and...concealing delicate parts...but...I guarantee everything is still there....and..."

His mind went to the zerglings, sleeping for once.

"...some additions but....I wouldn't mind."


Infestation was deeply invasive, but....but it suddenly didn't matter if Reinhardt knew it or saw how deeply it had taken hold on his body because....they were in this together.

[panzersoldat]

He finds he really adores that feeling. There's something warm and soothing about those extra limbs moving. He might be a Crusader that keeps everyone else safe, but when Stukov does it, he feels that he is the one that is protected. He knows this man would be there for him with everything he had. All the tactics and healing and even a hard fight. He has a great man that he can feel secure next to. He feels loved. Safe and loved.

"Ja. No hugging too hard. I promise. I want you comfortable when we sleep. I'm sure this is uncomfortable enough without me adding to it." As he speaks, he walks, keeping the man secure his arms. He has to turn sideways to get through doors but there is no way he's going to be putting Alexei down. Not until they reach the bathroom and he can start preparing the man's bath.

He makes a small humming sound as his love explains what might be under his clothing. He has to admit he is curious. He can't help but be. Not because he wants to oogle Stukov for his strangeness but because he's certain he'd still be just as attracted, no matter what rested under those clothing. Well, that and he does want to oogle. Who wouldn't want to look at such a handsome man naked? But he'd never pressure, so when Alexei explains and says he doesn't mind, Reinhardt can only grin broadly and press a kiss to the man's forehead.

"Then I'll stay and I'll help." He might even join if he thinks the tub will fit them both. If not, he'll happily sit beside Alexei and scrub his back. But first he must get the water ready, which means putting Alexei down so that he can get that water and those bubbles he knows die kinder love.

[infestedadmiral]

Those extra arms tightened in a hug and Alexei smiled.

"Spasibo.. It should be alright in a few days when the new carapace hardens. Once that happens it is fine...even if the skin has not completely grown over it again."

He stops and blinks when Reinhardt presses that kiss into his forehead. The infested Terran smiles and gives a slight sigh.

"Spasibo again...for your help."

He means it.

It means to world to him that his beloved remains by his side and is helping. It feels...good? More than good but what is it really?

He'll concern himself with that later. His knight is setting him down and Alexei gently unhooked his extra limbs as he eased to the ground.

Once on the ground, Stukov began the arduous task of removing his jacket that was practically glued to him at this point. That poor coat had been through almost as much as he had. Fortunately the water Reinhardt is running is hot enough that steam and humidity fill the air-perfect...exactly what he needs. Bit by bit, he manages to coax off the jacket, taking a lot of slime and some chunks of dead skin with it.

His sweater is next and it peels off easier now that there is humidity in the room. Underneath it is nothign Reinhardt has not seen before. An almost perfect split of Zerg and Terran with places there two meet and twist over and into each other. Scar tissue from old battle wounds, as well as surgery and tissue sample scars...all that and molting too.

He moves on to his belt then, unfastening it and tugging it free from its loops and letting it drop to the floor. He'll deal with it later.

He uses his human hand to undo the button and zipper on his pants and he pauses, taking the time to inhale and exhale some deep breaths. He is not worried about Reinhardt ogling him...or judging him since it is painfully clear they are beyond that....but still...he hasn't willingly let anyone see him this...exposed. Oh, the scientists of Moebious have seen everything. They undoubtedly had pictures and files and samples of every poke and prod they took from every inch of him. He needs a moment. Or several.

After a final deep exhale, Alexei let his pants drop and he stepped out of them. The pattern continued, as one would assume, the infestation traveling down the left side of his body, covering everything and twisting it to its needs. His left foot is human sized, but the toes are elongated and the nails are thicket and longer than the ones on his right. In comparison, his right side look mostly unscathed.

But...it is suddenly clear that the bulge in his pants is actually part of his carapace...and he's not using anything right now so it stays concealed. All of it. It comes in handy to have a built in codpiece sometimes...especially in his line of work. He'd give Zerg evolution that, at least....it was, if anything, practical.

[panzersoldat]

Reinhardt would tell Alexei not to thank him, but he's certain the man would be adamant about it. So instead, he just accepts the thanks and is happy that he can do this. He adores this man and he'd do anything for him. He's also happy to finally get to learn more about the man. He feels he learns something new and wonderful about Alexei each day. Now he has this to add to the list.

He needs to remember it. Learn when this time happens so he can be prepared for it. Start learning the signs that it's starting. Maybe find ways to get time out of the Crusaders to assist his love with this difficult time.

He's maybe a little disappointed he can't help Alexei with his clothing, but he knows they must take this slowly. One step at a time. It must have taken so much for this man to even be willing to take off his clothing. He knows closest he's gotten so far has been the man's body hidden by a robe.

Reinhardt still winces a little at what he sees. Not because he's disgusted but because he's afraid it hurts his love somehow. It can't feel good to have your skin peel away connected to your clothing. His heart goes out to the other man. He still stays at the tub. If the man needed help, he would ask. He can't reach out and take that belt for him. This needs to be Alexei's choice. Alexei'a decision. So he waits and he finishes getting that water ready.

When it's finished, he finally turns and takes in the other man once more. Naked. He takes a deep breath and stands from his place at the tub to step over and lightly, carefully runs a thick finger down the split. "I was right. You are so beautiful." He doesn't care of his finger comes away coated with slime. He also doesn't care if he sort of catches some of that caprice and pulls a bit of it away too.

"Now, get that handsome rear end of yours into the tub. I'll get cloths and help you scrub down." He won't strip though. He won't join Alexei unless he asks. He understands this must be taken one step at a time.

[infestedadmiral]

It has taken him months to get to this point...to feel this comfortable and open....and not feel broken....ruined...Reinhardt really has no idea what he has done...he can't because he's not Alexei. He does know about the nightmares and the...complications...but he wasn't there and Stukov is only now feeling...safe enough to talk about it....even a little. Thanks to the Crusader, he feels like he is finally allowed to slowly heal. He doesn't leave the bed if he wakes up, drenched in sweat from a nightmare. He stays and latches onto his knight with his extra limbs and lets himself be grounded in the feel and the scent of the man. Reinhardt has the patience of a saint to put up with him.

There's a surge of pink on his left side. He can't help it. There's literally nothing between them anymore and he's still a little apprehensive. It flickers and fades at that finger on him and the glow warms back to its usual yellow-orange and there's a small smile on Alexei's face at the compliment. He still has trouble understanding how anything about him is beautiful...but he's not going to argue at this point. Reinhardt truly believes it and because he believes it so much...it is slowly getting Alexei to notice things that he'd previously despised in a new light.

"Thank You. You know...new carapace is...iridescent for a few days before it hardens. It...sparkles in the light. Once all this schlough is off, you'll be able to see it."

He nods at that, it sounds like a divine plan.

Bit by bit, he eases into the tub, giving a hiss that starts human but turns into something else when the hot water hits raw flesh. It is a Zerg sound-almost reptilian-he hasn't ever made it in front of Reinhardt before and he quickly bites his lip to silence it. Still, Stukov knows it is for the best and inch by inch, lowers himself into the hot, waiting water. His sounds return to very a very human series of "tch tch tchhhhsss." The nerves on his left side scream for a few seconds, but they quiet once they get used to it and it starts to feel soothing. The heat and the moisture do him good, the soft bubbles...hundreds of them, softly scented with lavender oil. He's mostly quiet, then, but he makes a pleased sigh as he started to get comfortable.

Alexei slips under the water momentarily then comes back up. He's been meaning to get a haircut, but only when it is wet is it actually noticeable.

He keeps most of himself under water, but his right elbow is leaned against the side of the tub to keep his head up.

He feels cleaner...better already, despite the occasional cry from a sore spot.

"Oh, Moy Rytsar. This was such a wonderful idea....thank you for suggesting it."

[panzersoldat]

He knows how hard this is and that's why he's so patient. He won't push because he doesn't want to push Alexei away. He adores the man too much for that. If he lost Stukov, Reinhardt knows he'd be beside himself, questioning how and where he had gone wrong. Though it's slow and though it's been recent, the knight knows his life is so much better and brighter with Alexei in it. The man being here has truly made this colony so much warmer for Reinhardt. His world was filled with more than just duty and responsibility now.

"Oh, so you become even more like a star. Maybe I should stop calling you mein schatz and start calling you Moya zvezdochka" His Russian is rough and heavily accented with his German. "I look forward to see it." He is. Because to him, he knows it would be lovely.

He settles behind the man, kneeling beside the tub as Alexei slides further in. He only raises an eyebrow at that inhuman sound. His hands immediately go to try and sooth. He might have made it too hot. He has always loved his own baths a little too warm. He doesn't mean to boil his love. He can't help but tease a little at the sound that the man made. Not because he's scared of it but because he doesn't think Alexei needs to hide it. "Language, Alexei. I know the children aren't here but you never know and I don't need our little ones picking up those sorts of words from you."

He laughs a little when the man disappears and then comes up. He can't help but reach and start to comb his fingers though the man's hair. He playfully slicks it back and then messes it up more. He gets some of those bubbles into it, already staring to massage the man's scalp. "I thought you might enjoy it. When my knees act up, a hot bath does wonders for me." A pause and he leans to give Alexei's human ear a small kiss. "But don't you dare tell on me for that. I'll not be put on desk duty because I have achy joints every now and again."

From the hair, his fingers travel down. He's careful, careful and gentle, trying to help ease some of that skin off. "This spring, I think I'm going to build us a nice hot tub and sauna out back. For you and the little ones and for me too. So we can all soak together."

[infestedadmiral]

The feeling was mutual on the Infested man's side. He'd not felt anything for anyone besides mild annoyance at best and pure loathing at worse for the better part of a decade. Truth be told, he hadn't even been sure he had been capable of caring for someone anymore. But here they were regardless. It had been almost frightening at first since he had been unable to place the emotion he was feeling...then once he had..he hadn't have been sure how the Crusader would respond...thankfully, well and...here they were.

Alexei can't help but smile at how his mother tongue sounds with Reinhardt's incredibly thick accent. It is a complete bastardization but he can't bring himself to care. It is perfect...like music. Reinhardt can call him whatever he pleases. He'll always answer.

"You've been practicing, vozlyublennaya."

He can't help but beam at that.

He smiled at the teasing, an eyebrow raised in a smirk.

"You're right. I can't really blame anyone else if they pick up a few choice phrases, now can I?"

The water was just right. Very hot. Exactly the way he liked it....if he hadn't have torn off a few dying and dead layers of flesh it wouldn't even be unpleasant...but he had and there was nothing to be done about it now...not when everything else was so...perfect.

It is silly, really, in the grand scheme of things...but this little domestic existence he has with Reinhardt and their zerglings...and they really are their zerglings in his eyes....is just the kind of life he had been looking for since leaving the Swarm...even if he did not know it until it practically slapped him in the face.

He loves the feeling of Reinhardt's hands on his wet hair, messing it up, then scrubbing at his scalp with thick, strong fingers. He leans into it with a pleased sigh.

"Your secret is safe with me, Moy Rytsar. I will not tell a soul."

Dead tissue comes off easily-lumps of grey, discolored skin come off without much effort. Some of it isn't quite ready, though, so Stukov's shoulder and arm look a little uneven. There are small sparkling glints of that iridescence that he had mentioned starting to appear.

Alexei's right hand travels up to Reinhardt's face at the mention of his upcoming projects and he cups Reinhardt's cheek.

"I'd love that."

All of it.

The hot tub large enough for all of them...it would make molting so much easier next time...and Reinhardt could manage to sit beside him without resorting to contortions...and a sauna...a dream come true. It was a perfect place for eggs to hatch.

Alexei started a little at the heat pooling between his legs. Now was not the time for that...he was in no condition. He was grateful for the obscene amount of bubbles. He takes a few deep breaths and nods when he's sure he's settled down.

"I look forward to it."

Alexei swallowed and blew at a few stray wet bangs that were coming loose.

"Careful...with all this flattery and promises I know you are good for....you might get me all riled up. This is normally a good thing. But for the next few days it is....maybe not the best time to act on it, Da?"

It isn't.

It really isn't.

Wet carapace can be pressed into drying painfully and awkwardly into other shapes that are not what they are supposed to be, which were ungly and painful until the next molt...which was also more painful because of the unusual shape.

"After that...I....I'm not...opposed to...getting riled up. You...have an amazing effect on me."

[panzersoldat]

He feels a little embarrassed at his attempt at Russian. More so when Alexei seems so pleased by it. He wants to say it was terrible, but he's being praised. That makes him actually flush. He moves a hand from the man's hair to scratch at his beard for a second in his awkward bit of shame. "I have been. I've been working hard to get it. I want to be able to speak to you in your language. To tell you I love you in your mother tongue. To whisper sweet nothings to you. And I know I have no chance of learning what you and the little ones speak to one another." He probably would never ever be able to speak whatever that was. Might not even have the right vocal cords for it. However, Russian, he can learn. "Though if I can learn I love you, I would want to be able to say it, to you and to die kinder."

Of course he won't make Alexei teach him. Because he's not even sure there's a word for that. Plus, he doesn't want to put Alexei out. He doesn't but he still puts it out there because he wants the man to know that's how much he cares.

He cups the hand on his cheek and gives the palm a little kiss. He'll do it then. He'll start getting the plans together. He won't build until spring, when the ground was softer. The thought made him realize just how much more this small house was his home than the barracks he's spent most of his life here on NeoBaravia has ever been. He knows he'll have a very hard time leaving when his week of leave was up.

"When it's time, I'll have you come with me to pick out fixtures for it." Just like a real couple. Just a pair of lovers going to the hardware store because of a bathroom remodel. It makes him feel even more warm and happy. Happy enough to carefully wrap an arm around the man for a moment to press a kiss to a wet temple before he is back to playing with that longer hair.

"I'll try to stop. It's hard because you are so handsome. But for your comfort, I will try not to flatter you too much." Though it does give him a little jolt of pride to think that he could get Alexei excited like that. With just a few words, just a few compliments. He wants to learn all those things that get this man in the mood.

"After, I make no promises." For now though, he'll accept Alexei's decision. He'll be good. Or as good as he can be when he reaches for cloth and soap and reaches into the water to help the man scrub some more of that skin and slime off. "Once you're out, I'll get you a nice clean set of sheets." He'll change the bedcloths as many times as needed for Alexei to feel clean and happy and not slimy and gross about himself.

[infestedadmiral]

Russian is not an easy language to learn...and Stukov's German isn't much better than Reinhardt's butchering of his mother tongue...so he's not one to talk. Not that he would anyway...especially when this is such a touching sentiment. He doesn't miss the flush...and he can't help but glow a soft pink at that in turn for a few seconds.

"There is no way to say it in Zerg. They...they don't have words for it. Until very recently, there...there wasn't even time for it for them. It is starting to happen now...amongst the higher level Zerg-the queens and the brood mothers...perhaps they will think of a way to say it. I will share it if I learn it but...most Zerg like...Der Kinder communicate psionically...so...your thoughts and feelings are picked up on. I'm certain they know how you feel about them."

He leans into that scratch on his beard and sighs.

"I would be happy to go with you."

There is a part of him that freezes up inside at the thought of going out...of...being social. He's been getting better though...and Reinhardt will be there and the colonists have mostly gotten used to him at this point.

That embrace...that kiss to his temple...the playing with his hair...it is so soothing...so relaxing...like...this is just another day...they are just a pair of old men fawning over each other like lovestruck teenagers. Human teenagers. He's told Reinhardt this before-that the Crusader makes him feel human and his beloved is always assuring him that he is human. Alexei knows better, but he's not going to argue...he'll just enjoy feeling love and affection that he thought was lost to him.

It is wonderful. It is exactly what Alexei needed. Even more slime and dead tissue come off with Reinhardt's cleaning and Stukov is looking very uneven...but what's coming off for now is off. Almost. There's a pop from his face and the large chunk of carapace on his left cheek comes free. Alexei manages to catch its edge and peel it lightly away. It looks like a piece of plastic with a sheen of am iridescence in the light.

"Huh. First actual carapace piece of the molt. That's a good sign."

Stukov set it on the side of the tub.

"Spasibo."

There is a pause.

"For everything. Always. I...I am honored you are still here...despite...despite everything."

He turns his whole body then, placing the hand Reinhardt held the wash cloth in between his right hand and his molting claws on his left.

Now it is his turn to attempt a language not his own.

"Ich liebe dich, Mein Ritter."

It seems Reinhardt is not the only one who has been practicing. Like his Russian, it is heavily accented...but discernible.

[panzersoldat]

The explanation gives Reinhardt hope. He knows it's a silly thing. But he does understand that the little ones are indeed Zerg. Alexei is also, for as human as Reinhardt insists he still is. He knows that once, when he had been much younger, he had been one of those people at war with them. He had killed more than his fair share as a marine.

But that was 30 years ago and this was now. This was now and he couldn't imagine hurting these zerg. They all meant far too much to him and so he's glad that even if the little ones can't say it, can't really express it yet, they know he loves them with his whole heart. He might not have been directly involved with the three, but he sees then as his children all the same. His and Alexei's. They are precious and he adores them just as much as he does their father.

It's also why he's so glad that Alexei agreed to come and do something so very domestic with him. He knows how hard it is for the man to be social and every time he tries, Reinhardt feels himself growing even more proud of the man in the tub.

Proud of him and so very in love with him. Even seeing a piece of his face come off doesn't sway his emotions away from that truth. Instead, he just focuses on the softness of Alexei's new skin under the old. At how beautiful and luminous it is. "Is it? Good. Then I'm glad. We'll do this as many times as you need until it's all done with. I'll help you bandage and stay clean until it's all gone. And whatever else you need. I'll even cook for you. You don't have to worry about anything this week. I'll take care of you."

He means that too. There's nothing he would love more than to take care of Alexei. He's never considered retirement, but now Reinhardt knows what it is he wants when it's finally time for him to lay down his hammer. When he can no longer lift it. He wants to live out the rest of his days with this man and their children and their children's children if such a thing were to ever happen.

The fact that Alexei speaks in German to him just clenches that fact. If he hadn't promised, he knows he surely would have ended in the tub with the man right then and there. As it is, he just smiles so brightly that he's certain he's glowing.

[infestedadmiral]

The way that Reinhardt positively glows at Alexei's butchering of his mother tongue makes the infested Terran's own glow brighter...and that rustle is back in his extra limbs. His heart is full. He could not ask for more. He had no idea he could be this happy anymore.

His feelings had started as a whisper...a general inclination. A feeling of relief and comfort whenever Reinahardt was near him...which, fortunately, had been often. The Crudsader had made himself into a kind of liasion for the former Vice Admiral, though Stukov was fairly sure Balderich had a hand in it to put the other Terrans' minds at ease. It was difficult to pinpoint when exactly that fondness had blossomed into...something else.

He'd kept his mouth shut, of course, content to marvel that he could indeed feel what he did. Stukov had long thought feelings of romance and...attraction had been long gone...removed from the lexicon of things he could feel. It turns out...there was just no one to feel them for.

He'd still kept silent. Even if he could feel things...that did not mean Reinhardt felt them in return. He wasn't even sure if the Crusader was into men...let alone...infested ones.

In the end, they had both felt the same way towards each other...but Alexei had still needed convincing. He had still needed reassurance...still did...now and again...that this was real and not some escapist fantasy his drug addled brain had conjured up back on Skygeirr platform in the secret depths of the Moebius Foundation's labs.

But the touch of the Crusader's hands grounds him. He feels their weight and their texture...and his knight's musky, touch of fine cologne smell. It is real and here and his and he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his days with this man...however many he has left.

He reaches up for Reinhardt's collar to pull him down for soft, grateful kisses before pressing their foreheads together and shutting his eyes.

What Reinhardt proposes sounds like heaven. Not just taking care of him...but everything after...building a sauna...a hot tub...picking out the fixtures together. It is an actual future together. A future he wants...and that is staring him in the face letting him know he can have it...that it is possible.

For the first time in years...he is happy to be alive...to be here...now.

In a few days, his new carapace will be hardened...that's well within Reinahrdt's week of leave.

"I know you will. I know it."

He says it a lot breathier than he means to, which probably isn't helpful to either of them in this situation.

"Let me do the same...whenever...if ever it happens."

Because he's in this for the long haul. He'll be there to help when Reinhardt can no longer lift his hammer. No matter what the Crusader needs, he'll be there.

"I...we'll work together...always."

[panzersoldat]

Reassurance is something that Reinhardt will always give. He knows that sometimes things are difficult for his love. Had he known the man thought this some fever dream, Reinhardt would make sure to do everything in his power to remind him that this was real. That it wasn't a dream, and that if it was a dream, it would mean that Stukov was dreaming of the future. That Alexei just need to wait for him. Reinhardt would find him, he'd put on his old space marine armor and go from planet to planet, space station to space station, until he found the Admiral. But he doesn't think he has to tell Alexei that. He's sure that the man knows that this knight would go to the ends of the galaxy for him.

He always will.

Always, if it means those sweet kisses and that gentle warm glow is in his life. If those breathy sounds follow him to his own shower later, that's his own business. He's going to keep his promises. Just like he's going to take care of this man.

He can't help but smile though. "Of course. I'll let you do the same. I've put you in my pocket and we're going to go together always. When I need help, I know you'll be there. And when I need you to look out for me or even if just to make my ass sit down and rest for a while, you will help me with that. We're a team." And he's grateful for it because he knows when the time comes, with Alexei at his side, he'll actually be able to retire in peace.

[infestedadmiral]

Part of the terror and despair of languishing in Narud's grasp was the knowledge that no one was looking for him. The world thought he was dead. Those that knew him to be alive had seen the Protoss cure work. They had no idea it had ultimately failed.

No one left alive cared enough to look after him. No one was coming to save him. He had been completely and utterly alone.

Neither Terrans nor Zerg were designed to exist that way.

That aching loneliness has not been a part of him for months. It eased when he joined the Swarm...but it never felt right...not like home...not like this does.

His glow is pulsing and warm, orange and yellow. Alexei is content and happy. He smiles and chuckles.

"Tch. You and I both know I would have to order you to sit your ass down for a rest."

He is more on the nose than he realized.

Alexeo sighed.

"Well. All is off that is coming off for now."

He rose slowly from the water, steadying himself on Reinhardt's shoulder. He made no move to cover or conceal anything. He had nothing to hide anymore.

[panzersoldat]

The man is right, of course. The Crusaders has been Reinhardt's life since he had come back to this place. Certainly, he had been born here. Grown up here, but here, there had been no adventure for a wide eyed boy that had wanted to make something amazing of himself. Out there, there had been. He'd gotten his adventure and then some, and now he was back. And back for some time, like he had never left.

Yet even as long as he'd been here now, with his life fully dedicated to the shield wall that protected Neo-Bavaria, he had never found a reason to retire. No wife. No children. No grandchildren. Until Alexei. In this man, he had found someone he could devote himself to just as fiercely as he did this colony. Not only that, he found what he had been lacking. This is the man he wished to grow old with. Alexei had been the adventure he had always looked for.

He shifts away from the tub a bit as Stukov rises. It's hard not to get a good long eyeful. He tires his best not to stare, but that desire for the man burns in that single blue eye. His adam's apple bobs from swallowing his thirst down. He will behave. He promised.

"Looks like." His already deep bass voice seemed to have dropped into the basement, telegraphing his want before he represses it. "A towel." He has to hand it over because he can't trust himself not to touch too much. "Clean wrappings so you don't leak too badly on your sheets." And he'll drain the tub after and decide what to do with the shed. Perhaps it can go into the fire. "I'll come to bed soon as I take care of this and have my own shower." A very cold one.

[infestedadmiral]

The lower tone of Reinhardt's voice makes Alexei's heart jump to his throat. His heart beats a little faster than normal for a few seconds and his extra limbs fluttered.

Did...did Reinhardt's voice just...go deeper?

It had. Obviously it had. A telltale sign of desire aimed at...him?

He'd known Reinhardt was in love with him...but...this was something else...that...was not unwelcome at all just..obnoxiously timed. He had at least two full days of shed left...and another day for his carapace to harden before...attempting anything involving much grabbing was wise. Still...it made the investment that was sitting in the drawer of his bedside table well worth the time, money and...awkward advice asked of the colony's pharmacist.

Alexei smiled to himself and beamed at Reinhardt, glow flickering pink at the thought of his knight feeling genuine desire for him after this...mess.

He gratefully took that towel when it was offered.

"Spasibo.

Stukov carefully dried himself off.

"I look forward to it."

Reihardt was always a source of comfort and Alexei slept much better when his knight was there.

"The shed will shrink once it is dry. Then we can throw it in the garbage or in the fire. Don't worry about it right now."

He smiled and slipped out of the bathroom. Stukov gave a dreamy sigh as he went to check on the zerglings. All three of them were soundly asleep. Hans kicked at something and his lips flared, revealing a gnashing set of sharp teeth. Little darling was dreaming. He returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed for a moment before pulling the drawer in his bedside table open.

Inside it were several kinds of lubricant and condoms. He had no idea what half of them were. He hadn't needed any such product in almost two decades. Things had changed so much since he'd needed anything like this. He hadn't had a partner since he left Earth...and that was years before he even considered going to the Korprulu Sector with the UED fleet. Then there was his mission to contend with...his infestation...the war in the Void...and now here he was, a little worse for wear, but still in the fight...wit a drawer full of intimacy aids. He had realized he'd never asked if Reinhardt had any allergies like this...he'd never thought he would need to, as ludicrous as that sounded. He loved cuddling. He loved being held and hugged and just being there with his beloved knight. Slowly, he had gone from tensing every time that Reinhardt patted him on the back to loving all those little touches and caresses.

Honestly, until now...he'd not been sure if Reinhardt would...want to...be intimate with someone whose most private, personal parts had been completely remade. He must look like an idiot. A grown man who doesn't have a complete understanding of how his own pleasure worked. Though in his defense...he had not had a lot of time to explore. He certainly was not going to while being studied...and there wasn't any time for it once he joined Kerrigan and the rest of the Zerg Swarm.

It was time to change all that...he'd finally been ready to try...and then his molt had started and his heart had fallen to pieces...but...Reinhardt had picked up those pieces and patched them back together.

Alexei smiled and slid the drawer closed.

Soon.

He'd waited this long.

[panzersoldat]

It had. Alexei will soon learn that one of the biggest tells of Reinhardt's arousal is the deepening of his voice. It's not something he can help. Want just makes his rumbling voice hit the subbasement. Right now, it's very deep indeed. It'll take him a while for it to return to his normal low tone. It helps if he focuses his attention elsewhere.

At least until Alexei is gone. Then he can take things...well in hand. He has to be quick. He wants to join his love in their bed. But he will do as Alexei says and ignore the shed for now. He'll take care of it in the morning. Right now, he has other problems to deal with. Problems that had come directly from looking at the man's naked body.

Reinhardt is much faster with his shower than he normally is. He's also a bit quieter. The house is often filled with the dulcet sounds of Reinhardt Wilhelm breaking 5 different peace treaties by committing the war crime of singing in the shower. Instead, there's just a few quiet grunts and a gasp that hopefully doesn't travel to the bedroom before he's pulling on sleep pants and heading in that direction, desires sated and the evidence of his weakness draining from the tub.

He does pause by the little beds their little ones are sleeping on. He readjusts the little blankets to keep the zerglings warm, lighting patting one that opens it's eyes a little to make sounds at him. "Don't worry...I'm going to take care of your dad. You can rest." Of course later, he might wake to a little patrol of zerglings that had taken it upon themselves to protect their territory while their creator is in such a bad way.

But eventually he'll come to bed, utterly unaware of what hides in the drawer not feet from him as he sits on the edge of the bed. "I know you're soft...but would it be safe for me to...hold your hand at least?" He can't hug Alexei to him like he normally would. It's too dangerous to spoon him, but he likes having contact when they sleep. He thinks holding Alexei's human hand should be safe enough.

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, listening to the running water and noting the absence of his love's loud, earsplitting singing. He doesn't mind it. It is charming. Of course, his ears are no longer human.

When Reinhardt at last comes to bed, Alexei smiles warmly and he gives a soft, wistful sigh.

"Of course."

He immediately reached out his hand for his knight's.

"Anything with human skin is safe to touch."

Hold...kiss...anything like that. His extra limbs flutter when he links their fingers together. Stukov pulls the other man's knuckles to his lips and kisses each one before letting their linked hands rest on his chest, just enough away from any exposed molting.

"I'm...I'm so glad you are here. Thank you...for everything...for helping."

[panzersoldat]

He's glad for that. Reinhardt knows he can't sleep in the same bed as this man without wanting to touch. Needing to. If he couldn't, he would have to go and sleep on the couch, wake up with an ache in the back and a pile of Zerglings on his chest. Not the worst way to wake up, but he hadn't come to the house for the week to sleep with die kinder.

Reinhardt grins and does his best to stay just on that human side. Press against it as much as he can, always snuggling. Making up for those long and lonely nights back at the castle.

His heart flutters at the kiss to his knuckles. "No. Thank you. Thank you for letting me in. Letting me help." He curls against Alexei's human side more. He'll be asleep, snoring in mere seconds. He never sleeps this quickly at the castle.

[infestedadmiral]

Alexei curls back against Reinhardt as best he can. The glow in his eyes and in his skin begins to dim as he becomes sleepy. He can't take his eyes off his beloved knight. Even as he settles in and his eyes flutter, he just watches Reinhardt sleep.

The infested Terran holds fast to his love's hand as he drifts off to sleep, kissing the back of it and holding it to his chest.

It felt as though a tremendous burden had been lifted...that he could truly rest...and that for the first time in a long time, he drifted off into a deep and restful sleep.